Sarah Who? Why McCain's VP Pick Should Offend All, But Especially Women

By Amir Said

The president of the United States sets the tone for the leadership of the world. Elect a dictator, and you encourage dictators around the world. Elect a moron, and every purported democracy around the globe is exposed to the same threat. Needless to say, the highest level of office in the political hierarchy of the United States is a profoundly important position. It's a position that American voters should not and can not afford to take lightly. Yet this is exactly what John McCain and his team are counting on. They are counting on the vast majority of American people to take this election lightly. More specifically, they are counting on the women supporters of Senator Hillary Clinton to be naive, shallow, pig-headed, and astoundingly narrow minded.

John McCain's recent nomination of Gov. Sarah "Hockey Mom" Palin is nothing more than a calculated attempt to prosper off of a misplaced belief that scorned Hillary Clinton supporters have lost all ability to use reason. Here, I will not attempt to negate any of Mrs. Palin's political qualifications, for two reasons. First, I do not know of anything that's she's done that exemplifies compassion and empathy for all Americans, not just a small elite group. A two year Governorship of Alaska, (a state outside of mainland America, a state with an extremely low number of minorities, and a state that the average American associates with snow, ice, and igloos), is a disturbingly thin case for the no. 2 slot in American politics. Prior to McCain's VP announcement yesterday, I think I had heard of Governor Palin on one occasion. It was during news coverage of newly elected republican governors. Beyond that, I have not even heard her name mentioned in national news in the last 5 years, the time in which it is reported that she held public office in Alaska.

The other reason that I will not negate Governor Palin's qualifications--and this is the most important reason--is because the Vice Presidential pick should ONLY be someone who is qualified, capable and ready to be President for all Americans. But in an assault against even his own reason, John McCain has essentially "thrown a bone" to the female supporters of Hillary Clinton, banking on the belief that they are so ignorant and shallow that they will support any woman, capable and qualified or not. So women supporters of Hillary Clinton, please hear this: John McCain NEEDS YOU. But instead of respecting your dignity and intelligence, by announcing Governor Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential running mate (and potential President), he has insulted it. In his VP pick, (of a woman whom he's only met once and has never worked with before, John McCain has clearly made the case to you that he wholeheartedly believes that you voted for Hillary Clinton ONLY because she is a woman; not because of her positions, her accomplishments, her training, or her station and recognition in America and around the WORLD. And because of this obvious lack of respect for you, he felt comfortable in choosing virtually any woman, (indeed, former head of eBay, Meg Whitman, was also on the shortlist; and she had no political experience). Furthermore, he not only is banking on you to be astoundingly ignorant, he's hoping that your anger will prevail just long enough for him to sneak into the white house. After all, he knows your anger will eventually subside, and that your sense of reason (which he thinks has left you) will return shortly after November. But by that time, he hopes to be President Elect.

Sarah Who? As expected, youtube has taken down all videos of Governor Palin's beauty pageant, as well as other limited news footage of her. However, here are a couple of the clips that "certain forces" did not deem damaging. But if you pay careful attention, you will pick up some things about the unknown woman who is now "a heartbeat away from the Presidency." Meet the self-described "Hockey Mom", Governor Sarah Palin.

I don't know about you, but I certainly do not want a "hockey mom"--with zero national appeal--making critical policy decisions, let alone commanding our armed forces.

Governor Sarah Palin at an "oil" event... Notice the "oil" connection

Here, Governor Palin is interviewed by a reporter. Even he doesn't know where she's from, and he's a fellow Alaskan.

Oh, one more thing. As reporters dig and do their own "vetting", it seems that there are some unflattering things about Governor Palin that have been placed up under the rug. Surely, one would assume that Governor Palin was properly vetted by McCain and his team. But again, that's assuming that you believe that they even think it really matters.

Great Ideas

"Great ideas are only superseded by the execution of them." - Amir Said

Standardized Tests for Kindergartners: Further Proof the American School System Conquers and Divides

By Amir Said

What did you want to be when you were 5 or 6 years old? Perhaps a better question would be what didn't you want to be when you were 5 or 6 years old? Isn't that more accurate? I mean, who knew what, at 5 or 6? I know for me at least, imagination and concentration were rival forces. I might have known that 2+2 equaled 4, but I don't think I quite understood why it was so. And I'm pretty sure my kindergarten teacher knew I didn't understand why. I also knew that the parachute in gym class was cool, even though I couldn't tell you the distance of its circumference. Nobody expected me to know that. Matter-fact, I think I knew that, too.

For most kids in America the ages of 5 and 6 were kindergarten territory; the first encounter with the traditional American school system. Remember those times? Remember hangin' out, coloring, throwing 4-letter words into 5-word sentences? Remember goin' nuts at recess? RECESS... Just the concept alone blew my mind. Kindergarten was like a primitive, real-life myspace on crack. Best friends were traded and dropped over broken crayons. Everybody's business was told. It was our first real taste of social culture shock. In this setting, some of us were more vocal; some of us paid better attention; some of us could stay inside the lines when we colored. Either way, we all moved up to the 1st grade, without having to take a big standardized test.

Now, it appears that's all about to change. Recently, New York City Department of Education announced that they would be initiating a standardized math testing program for kindergartners. The details of the program are even scarier than the idea itself. Get this: the test is expected to take kindergartners 60 to 90 minutes minutes per section. Let's forget for the moment how this test will inevitably destroy kindergarten as we know it and consider the reassurance of the NYC Dept of Ed's Accountability Chief, Jame's Liebman's, he says, "There's nothing about (the tests) that is designed to create anxiety or create a sense of evaluation or create a sense of being compared to someone else." (source: AP) Hungh! Soooo... what exactly is the test designed to create? I'll tell you, doubt and low-self esteem. Prior to this ridiculous idea of standardized tests for kindergartners, the American school system used standard testing in the 4th and 5th grades and a means of polarizing the "smart" from the "dumb". With a standardized 2hr multi-section math test in effect, this awful social and cultural marginalization (a creature of the American school system) will apparently start much, much earlier.

Standford's "Gridiron Gurantee": Big Low for Big-Time Academic Institution

By Amir Said

In recent years, the Standford University football team has stunk up the place. No bowl game appearances since 2001, and only 2 home game wins all of last season. Coming into this year's season, the Cardinals are expected to finish 9th... in the Pac 10! Needless to say, after having spent an estimated $100 million renovating the 55,000 plus stadium, Stanford's top brass are now panicking. Cue the geniuses in the marketing department.

Here's the pitch: Season ticket holders who purchase the "Gridiron Guarantee" option are eligible to receive a full refund of their ticket price, if they're not happy with the "entertainment value" of Standford football. Hungh?
Talk about pressure to win.
Prediction: Stanford will have their first winning season in years. Why? Because if the top brass at Standford are dumb enough to go all the way with this money-back guarantee (read ponzi scheme), then I gotta believe that they're doing something else to cover their bets. Looks like key Standford football players are getting a raise this year.

The Fruit of Diversity is Not an Ethnic Census

By Amir Said

When people proudly discuss the diversity of their neighborhood, they typically tout the mixture of races and ethnicities. Why is that? Is this some sort of self-righteous expression about the absence of racism within their neighborhood? For instance, I've been all over Brooklyn. From East New York to Brownsville, from East Flatbush to Bensonhurst, from Bed Stuy to Clinton Hill, from Fort Greene to Park Slope. And yes, in all of these places I have seen a diverse collective of people. Yet in all of these places, I have not seen much of a diverse attitude towards interaction. Though people regularly interact, (as a consumer society necessarily insists), they still become socially partisan. They group off and clique up; thereby rendering the fruit of real diversity--exchange and interaction--obsolete. I believe that if true diversity is to be achieved in neighborhoods, diverse groups, not just individuals, must mingle and exchange ideas much more regularly.

P2P Lending: Micro Venture Capital

By Amir Said

Peer-to-peer lending is emerging. Actually, it's already emerged. It's nothing new. For years people have been turning to their personal networks of family and friends for much needed money. But until recently (about 3-5 years ago) people have been limited by the reach of these networks. Enter online Peer-to-Peer (P2P) lending.

P2P lending sites offer people the opportunity to get loans, (usually $50 - $10,000), by tapping into a network that is virtually limitless. It works like this. A person goes to an online P2P site. They set up an account, including information like their personal credit score, their driver's license I.D. #, the amount of money they need and the reason that they need it. Then they look for a "lending network" on the site that suits their needs. Next, this person--the borrower--sets the maximum interest rate that they're willing to accept. After that, the "leader" or head of a lending network "checks" (vets) the borrower. This is not an extensive vetting, just an email exchange to verify the identity of the person and whether or not they indeed have an active bank account. If the lender views the borrower as an acceptable risk, they pledge their own cash, which can be as little as $50. Others within the lending network follow suit, and within several days, the borrower's loan request is fulfilled. Thus, the bigger the lending network more likely a borrower will secure the funding that they need.

Online P2P is young. But the internet has a way of growing things up rather quickly, and taking them into an entirely new direction. Remember that hip little site for music lovers? What's the name, again? That's right, Myspace! Myspace, a beacon of the social-networking sites, began really as a place for a small number of heavy music-heads. But Myspace creators realized the potential from the beginning, and within 5 years of its launch, it became a world phenomenon. In a similar fashion, I predict that the potential for P2P lending as the new method of venture capital--what I call micro venture capital--will be fully realized in the very near future. Right now, P2P lending networks are made up of four primary groups: 1. everyday types looking for small, short term loans for immediate and unexpected expenses; 2. people looking to pay down their debt; 3. home owners looking for funding for remodeling and general upkeep; and 4. entrepreneurs. It is this fourth group that has the greatest potential for the biggest gain, both for borrowers and lenders.

I have long disliked the venture capitalist/conglomerate-purchase model, not because I disagree with the presence of groups with cash to invest, but because how the model actually works. No matter what the exact situation is, when the venture capitalists come in and foot the funding bill, they always wind up on top. Just ask fired Vimeo founder Jakob Lodwick. When Lodwick sold his Connected Ventures (then parent company of Vimeo, CollegeHumor, and other sites), he no doubt received a big fat check. But in that same exchange, he also received a countdown to an inevitable pink slip. That's the problem with the venture capitalist/conglomerate-purchase model. They don't become "partners", they become owners. Though, the founders of a fledgling startup may be left in tack to "run" (wink, wink) the company, make no mistake, the venture capitalist or backing conglom has someone looking over the shoulders of the founders. As soon as something goes afoul, (and trust me, sooner or later it always does), the venture capitalist or conglom pulls the plug on the founder(s).

Because of the one-sidedness of the venture capitalist/conglomerate-purchase model, I've always hoped for a more direct-funding model that placed the lenders on the sidelines, rather than in the mix. With P2P lending there is much more direct link between the borrower and the lender. There is no third party underwriter or bank to worry about. More importantly, the lenders get a return on their investment (the loan) in the form of cash, NOT ownership, NOT even partnership. This allows startups the comfort to focus on their vision and operating their company in a manner that best suits their ideas and increased innovation. Moreover, it shields entrepreneurs from the typical constant pressures and demands that are typically lobbied. And it allows entrepreneurs to grow their companies at their own pace and on their own terms. Thus, when the creative expression of a entrepreneur is allowed to cultivate, he or she is likely to offer better products and services. When that happens, consumers win.

Prosper.com, one of the leading P2P networks on the web.

"Afterall, Who Doesn't Like Instant Noodles?"

By Amir Said

The World host: "After all, who doesn't like instant noodles?"
Amir Said: "Uh, you mean aside from former habitually starving college students?"

Microsoft Gets Hip: Pays Seinfeld $10 Mil to Peddle Windows

By Amir Said

Genius is limited. One good idea today is surpassed by a great idea tomorrow. Bill Gates beat the big boys, (read here the big blue behemoth known as IBM), to the software monopoly when he launched Microsoft, and subsequently, it's seemingly unstoppable operating system. Yet, in Microsoft's untouchable run towards world domination in the software realm, blinded them of other crucial developments: the internet, and the ultra hipness of Apple. Trying to make up for not making it to the internet dance, Microsoft tried to show up late by buying a date. But their planned purchase of Yahoo blew up in their face, when the dumb-genius Jerry Yang disrupted negotiations and sent Microsoft topper Steve Ballmer away in a huff.

So having failed to successfully shore up their internet presence, Microsoft is now switching gears to their image. Feeling like your great grandmother's computer products, Microsoft will now embark on a $300 million marketing revamp of their image. The idea is to make Microsoft "hip".... Cue in one of the dance scenes from that ultra real b-boy movie Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, because any time a corporation solicits and pays another company to make them "hip," you know something is about to go wrong. Terribly wrong. Hey Microsoft, here's the first clue that the ad agency you hired just shafted you: they're going with Jerry Seinfeld as the pitchman for the campaign.

Jerry Seinfeld. The guy from that show about nothing? The show who's legacy has been forced to sit on the side lines for another quarter century, because of Jason Roberts racist tirade? Come on, for real? You're kidding right. And wait, didn't this guy use a Mac in the t.v. show? That's right he did. Now I get where this is going. Jerry Seinfeld, the star of once-hip show, which featured a very hip concept, and a very hip comedian who used a very hip computer (a mac), is being drafted to reboot a software maker to a level of hipness at par with who? All together now: Apple! Hmmm... Does anyone else get the feeling that Microsoft's new "hip" ad campaign just might not work?

Jerry Seinfeld

This guy is supposed to take on the Mac Guy and make Microsoft "hip"?
"Prediction:" This new ad campaign will soar!
"Uh, Prediction:" No it won't.

Nascar

Nascar
By Amir Said

      I had been driving all night. Wasn't familiar with the regular rotation of the local radio stations, so I had been forced to repeat the Bobby Womack CD that was left in the glove compartment. I was burning forward through the black milkyway that only sets in after 3am. Even though I was low on gas, I kept the speed pedal on a steady nose dive. Harry was out there; somewhere behind me, closing in with every mile I covered. And with each curve of the of the stranded highway, I thought about letting the wheel go; just letting the car take me into a ditch. If I was lucky, I'd explode on impact; die without any pain or recollection of the good or bad I'd done in my life. But the prospect of me plunging into a mountain side and severing my torso, spun me back into the mode that had allowed me to escape earlier.

      My father had told me "never talk to a man when you pull a gun on him." Knowing that Harry would have reservations in killing me at point blank range, I talked to him when he pointed the semi-automatic money killer right in my face. I talked to him about his daughter. Reminded him of her beauty. Reminded him of how she would be a fortune and prize of extraordinary magnificence for any man. Then as I began to tell him that I was the man she couldn't bring herself to tell him about, his guilt turned over to anger. He pulled back the hammer on the gun and told me that I was 'like a son to him.' Not realizing that he had fucked up in talking to me, I wiped over the bottom of my chin and said, "there's a far finer wisdom in that." "Hungh!" he said. Then with the paw swiftness of a leopard, I slapped the gun from out of his hand. He reached down to retrieve it and I punched him in the side of his head. I felt my knuckles crumble his ear. He wouldn't naturally hear from the left side ever again. He fell to the dirt ground in a mix of agony and confusion, holding his ear. Blood was pushing out of his hand and sliding down his arm. I scrambled to my Camaro, opened the door, and a shot fractured the driver side window. I dove inside, checked under the seat for my gun, no sooner had I done so, I remembered that I had given it to Sophie a couple days back for protection. "The knife," I thought. The hunting knife that I won in a poker game off of a drunk county sheriff a while ago, when Sophie and I had drove out to the country. I dumped out all of the CDs in the armrest, grabbed the knife, and exited out the passenger side of the Camaro. I laid down flat on the dirt road, trying to spot Harry, waiting for him to come. Through the narrow scope of the rear wheels of the Camaro, I saw him running back towards the beach house.

      I swung around to the other side of the Camaro, opened the windowless door, shoved all the CDs from the drivers seat on to the ground, hopped in, turned the ignition and peeled off. "At best I had a three minute lead on Harry and his boys," I thought. But I was confident in my driving skills. I learned how to drive at 12, while I was in Alabama one summer. After my father's death, it had been agreed between my mother and grandmother that it was best for me. The first day down there I had made friends with Scatter and Cleon. I was in the local dime store when they came in. Cleon stuffed a bag of Utz BBQ chips under his shirt, while Scatter played look out over the front of the store. Neither of which heard the stock boy coming up from the back of the store. "Watch your back!" I said to Cleon. He nodded at me, tucked his shirt in and walked out of the front of the store. I followed him. As he and I exited the store, I heard Scatter ask the store owner, Mr. Ferguson, about water melon Jolly Ranchers. The three of us walked outside and up into the woods. "You ever seen a gun before?" Scatter asked me. "Sure have," I said. "Plenty people dun' seen a gun b'fore," he said. "Ain't that many dun shot a gun before. You ever shot a gun before?" He was right. Back home we had no less than five guns in the house, but I had never fired a gun. "Look at this," he said, raising up his shirt, pulling out a bruised up .38 revolver. He handed the gun to me and told me he wanted to see I how well I could shoot. Then Cleon told us to go deeper into the woods before we started shooting. So Scatter pulled bullets out of his pocket and started loading up the revolver, and the three of us walked deeper into the woods.

      The further we got in we heard the faint shrills of a woman. Cleon and Scatter seemed to want to stop, but the curiosity dragged us all further. We came up upon a quartet of drunk 'good 'ol boys' getting ready to have their way with a black girl. She looked about 17, maybe a little older, maybe a little younger. The ring leader tore open the top of her blouse, and she smacked him. He punched her in the face, spent her around and folded her over on the back of his Chevy pickup. Cleon froze and Scatter began to walk backwards. I grabbed the gun from him. "How many bullets in here!" I asked him? "Six," he said. I told Cleon and Scatter not to move, then I ran down and crashed the party. The ringleader was fussin' with the zipper on his pants, when the bullet splintered the back of his skull. Before he fell off of the girl, I wheeled around and shot the closest party goer, right above his left eye brow. The other two took off towards the ridge. The fat one fell not ten yards later. I jumped over him and shot him in the gut, without even breaking a stride, still pursuing the last one. I could hear the rhythm of his steps slowing, he was getting closer to the ridge, closer to daylight, closer to help. I brought my knees up higher, and pumped my arms harder, making up ground with each movement. I caught up with him just before the edge of the ridge. He turned to me and said "Please, I didn't touch her." I shot him in the face. I walked back to Cleon and Scatter; the three of us headed west out of the woods. Later that day, Scatter's uncle, Earl, took us into town for ice cream.

      Scatter's Uncle Earl was a mechanic and a great driver. Because of Jim Crow he hadn't been allowed to compete in Nascar. So he had put his dreams on the shoulder of his young nephew Scatter. But Scatter couldn't drive all that well; in particular, he couldn't sustain high speeds through the curves. It made Earl all the more mad when Scatter de-accelerated on the straightaways. On our way back home, he let me get behind the wheel. I was a natural. I didn't fear curves, and I chewed up straightaways. For the rest of that summer, Cleon, Scatter, and I would hang out in the day. And at night, Earl would take me out for driving lessons on an old dirt road that mimicked a race track. The dream was on my shoulder now. And Earl and I both believed that I would one day drive in Nascar.

Copryight © 2008 Amir Said

How Quiet the Loudest Drumers Go: Jerry Wexler, Too, Leaves Us a Map

By Amir Said

Naturally, I favor critics who can actually excel in the field in which they criticize. Such is the case of the late Jerry Wexler. A former music journalist who went from covering music to making music. And boy was he a musicmaker. He didn't play sax or piano, he didn't play drums or guitar; but he made music still the same.

As a co-owner of Atlantic Records (before the big conglomerate sell-off), Jerry Wexler didn't just peruse financial statements like many of today's label execs; on the contrary, he participated wholeheartedly in the music process. During his tenure at Atlantic records, Wexler, (along with partner and Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegu), signed and produced a wide range of recording acts, including Aretha Franklin and Led Zeppelin. Though he's probably most well-known for his work with Aretha Franklin (he produced 14 hit albums for her between 1967 and 1975), and Ray Charles, there are two other contributions that Jerry Wexler made that are equally if not even more impressive.

A little known fact outside of music historian circles is the fact that Jerry Wexler coined the term "Rhythm & Blues" (R&B). Before this, this deeply rich inviting blues-based music was commonly known as "Race Records." Wexler's coinage help project a level of dignity over an important lesser known black music in a time steep with racism and cultural oppression. Another lesser known fact is Jerry Wexler's involvement with seminal soul recording label Stax Records, the nurturing home of the likes of Otis Redding, Isaac Hayes, Al Bell, and Booker T. & the M.G.s. More specifically, Jerry Wexler played a pivotal role in the development of one of the best soul rhythm sections of all time, the Muscle Shoals rhythm section.

Jerry Wexler died one week ago, and as I come to terms with the death of yet another music (cultural) icon that had a profound effect on my life, I remained comforted by the fact that he, like Sam Cooke, like Bob Marley, like Curtis Mayfield, like James Brown, like Isaac Hayes, left us a map.

Jerry Wexler and Wilson Pickett

Aretha Franklin and Jerry Wexler

Led Zeppelin and Jerry Wexler

Jerry Wexler